IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 5.5 (Academic Training)
5.5
Overall Score
15 Dec 24, 12:50
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Overall Feedback
The response provides a general overview of employment trends but lacks precision in data interpretation and contains grammatical errors. Improved coherence and a more accurate representation of data would enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 15 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 3 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 2 |
Question
Explore the employment trends in the finance sector in Hong Kong, Singapore, Zurich, and New York from 2000 to 2010.
Detail the trends for each city.
Identify any significant periods of change.
Compare the employment trends among the cities.
#Employment Sectors
#Line Chart
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:278
Paragraphs:3
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
The Line Bar Depicts the Trends in the finance sector of Explore Employment between the City of Hong Kong, Singapore, Zurich, and New York from 2000 to 2010. The Y-axis represents the number of employment in the finance
sectors
while the X-axis represents the year
from 2000 to 2010. Overall, the trend of employment in the finance sectors among all of the countries share the same trends, get to increase
over the year. Interestingly, the city with the highest increase in employment in the finance sector over the years was Hong Kong. In contrast, Zurich was the city with the lowest increased
number of employment.In 2000, as the line bar
shows
the number of employees in Hong Kong was around 50, and getting increased
through the year, and got increased
by about 20 points and stopped at level 70 by the year 2010. Within this number, putt Hong Kong is the city with the highest increase in employees over the years. The second rank goes to Singapore, with an increase of around 18 points by the end of 2010. We can see, that the number of employees in 2000 was 45 and in 2010, the level was up to an estimated 63.Moreover, the two other cities, share the same trend of increase in the number of employees. The number of employees in Zurich during 2000 was 45 and
increased
by 15 points so it ended up at 55 level
. Share the count of increase of
employees during the years, New York has elevated by 14 points from 2000 to 2010, where in 2000 it has
55 employees and in 2010 it addreessed
69 employees.