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IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 5 (Academic Training)

5.0
Overall Score
10 Apr 25, 07:48
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Overall Feedback

The response provides a basic comparison of e-commerce revenue in China and India but lacks clarity and precision. Grammatical errors and limited vocabulary affect coherence and task achievement, while data interpretation is mostly accurate but not well-explained.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors25
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response2

Writing Task

#Retail and E-commerce
#Pie Chart
The charts depict the proportion of revenue from different product categories in the e-commerce sector in China and India in 2018.
Identify the main sources of revenue in each country.
Highlight any major differences between China and India.

China

India

Submitted Answer

Words239|Paragraphs4
English:US English
Global Issues:
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
Every country has their own revenue proportion from their product. Five
product
has been identified as the main sources of the revenue, which
is
electronics,
fasion
, groceries, furniture, and health and beauty. The
persentation
of each product may
different
in each
coutry
. As an example in this graph on the left side, the revenue data gained for China and India.
China has 40%
their
avenue on the electronics. This product is being the biggest contribution
for
country
's revenue. On the second, Fashion contributed 25% of the revenue. However, groceries only contributed 15% of it. Then, the last, furniture and
heaslth
and beauty are being the smallest
percetage
of the revenue on the number of 10%.
Comnpare to India, this country has the same biggest revenue on electronics. But the number is slightly different on 35%. Then, the other 30% of the revenue came from fashion product. The groceries
contributes
205 and the furniture is on 10% of this country's revenue. Lastly, the health and beauty product only support 5% of the revenue.
Based on this graphic comparison, we can conclude that both country
has
strong revenue on the same product, which is electronics. But,
China
percentage is 5% more than the India's revenue. However, India still good
in
Fashion, groceries, and furniture
compare
to China. Unfortunately, in the health and beauty section, China
lead
the sectors by gaining 5% from India's health and beauty product.

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